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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
While our aim is to improve the relationship, our angry tirade virtually always accomplishes the opposite result
When we lash out in anger at someone, we are desperately trying to correct a perceived injustice.
While our aim is to improve the relationship, our angry tirade virtually always accomplishes the opposite result.
It may incite the others defensiveness, which increases our frustration.
It may trigger the other person into an offensive counter-attack that escalates the conflict.
Even when an angry tirade does manage to persuade the other person to change in line with our desire, some negative fall-out results from our assault, undermining trust, bonding and intimacy in the relationship.
Keeping feelings of resentment to ourselves does not represent relationship wisdom.
Harboring unspoken feelings of resentment causes one to withhold in the relationship, often driving one to engage in passive-aggressiveness at worst, or artificiality at best that inevitably arouses the other person’s distrust.
Here then are some anger management tips for solving relationship problems, including marriage problems.
Self-honesty or emotional accountability is the first anger management tip.
You have face the fact that there really are some unintended, unwanted consequences, like undermining trust in your marriage, when you lash out in anger.
Self-understanding is another tip for better managing anger.Understand that what you really want is more love in your relationship. When you react in anger you repel love, you do not increase it.
Through more self-honesty and self-understanding you can begin to formulate a relationship strategy that works better than lashing out.
This leads us to the third of our anger management tips to improve your relationship: be proactive instead of reactive.
In other words, look for ways to help the other to do better instead of attacking in reaction to his or her undesirable performance.
Let’s say that you begin feeling impatient and frustrated when you have to wait for your mate to gather her things together before she can walk out the door and join you in the car on a date-night.
Instead of steaming angrily while you count the seconds and minutes, proactively assist her in taking care of her last minute details.
So applying this tip for anger management means being helpful instead of hurtful to improve your relationship.
Here then are your 3 simple anger management tips:
1. Be self-honest.
2. Examine your motives for improved self-understanding.
3. Be more proactive than reactive.
As you put these into practice, you will enjoy more loving cooperation in your relationships.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
