Parenting Children | Wisie Blog

Posts Tagged ‘parenting children’

Protect Your Child’s Imagination

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, September 7th, 2011

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Powerful imagination is part of healthy child development

Understanding how to work with your child’s power of imagination is important for supporting child development

Understanding how to work with your child’s power of imagination is important for supporting child development.

When children begin “making things up” it’s easy for a parent to become anxious about the need for the child to “tell the truth”.

Out of fear, the parent may over-react to the child’s made up tales and squelch the positive use and development of the child’s imagination-power.

Children seem to have an instinctive knowledge of how to use fantasy for their own good.

For instance, to protect herself from being emotionally devastated, the 5 year old son of a deceased father told his friend that his father was actually alive, but on a secret mission for the Army.

A child who was the smallest in his class told his parents one day, “Today I was bigger than Amos (the tallest in the class).

In these cases we see a wise application of the imaginative stage of child development. The child is using his new power to help himself to feel good about his life and about himself, and the child needs to feel good to behave well and perform successfully.

Do you regard the examples of making things up as behavior problems?

How does YOUR child use the power of fantasy?

Share your thoughts, experiences and questions about children’s use of imagination this blog.

Children need a strong imagination to help them to cushion the blows of harsh realities, for problem-solving, and to create magnificent goals for themselves. The child who makes things up may be revealing a gift for story-telling that is just beginning to blossom.

So we need to teach children when and how to tell the truth, but avoid giving them the harmful message that making things up is always wrong. A powerful imagination is part of healthy child development.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: child development, child discipline, child growth, children quotes, discipline alternative, good parenting, inspirational quotes, motivational quotes, motivational videos, parent child relationship, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Your Magical Child

By Bob Lancer
Monday, August 29th, 2011

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Help for parents is usually focused on practical matters.

We want our kids to be practical, responsible, grounded. We want them to be reasonable.

Children believe there is nothing wonderful that they can imagine doing that they cannot in fact accomplish

But don’t we also want them to preserve their MAGIC?

After all, it is possible to be TOO practical.

In a sense, being too practical is really not being practical. Being TOO practical can cost you your optimism and prevent you from taking risks that you really ought to take. Help for parents needs to include how to relate with the child’s delicate quality of enchantment.

Children start out believing in magic. They believe that anything is possible. They believe there is nothing wonderful that they can imagine doing that they cannot in fact accomplish.

Tips for parent need to include preserving the magic of believing that anything wonderful is possible.

We need to believe in this magic. For life really is quite magical. The very fact of existence itself is really unfathomable. The most elaborate scientific theory only goes so far and always leaves us at the brink of mystery.

What are your thoughts about preserving the magical quality of a child’s spirit?

Do you believe that magic can actually help your child succeed?

What is magical about your child that you want to preserve?

Please share your child’s magic and your thoughts about this topic in this blog.

Here is some magical help for parents:
Envision your child as a sacred blessing, a winner, a wonderful human being. The magical power of vision functions as a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: child development, child discipline, child growth, child's behavior, children quotes, discipline alternative, good parenting, inspirational poems, inspirational quotes, inspirational videos, motivational videos, parent child relationship, parent children, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips
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How To Raise Our World

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

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Behavior problems stem from unhappy reactions

Hitting, yelling, reacting with anger toward kids, and then blaming that on the kids, is just one example of the negative relationship pattern between children and parents that have contributed to our civilization’s decline.

It’s time for a new approach to parental control.

It’s obvious that the old approach hasn’t worked.

The adult rulers of the world have harmed the planet. And those adults were raised in the old ways.

The air did not have to become polluted, nor the drinking water. The ancient growth forests did not have to be decimated.

Mass media did not have to decline into blathering blowhards generating fear and divisiveness for a fast buck.

Our politicians could have been honest, upstanding citizens really looking out for the public good instead of the apparent corporate shills they have by and large become.

We could have discarded the use of bloody war centuries ago.

Adults set an example for children of how NOT to care for our world.
And to not care for our world is to not care for ourselves!

The roots of our world’s descent into increasingly toxic conditions, toxic physically and psychologically, can be traced to the “old school approach” to parental control.

We commonly hear adults complaining about “today’s unruly children”. What do YOU believe is the cause of the problem with ADULTS today?

Do you agree that a partial cause of destructive adult behavior is the approach to parental control by their parents during their childhood?

What adult behavior problems have YOU displayed that you can trace back to your relationship with your parents?

Share your thoughts and questions about this this blog.

One essential change needed in our approach to parental control must involve parents taking responsibility for the painful, unhealthy, and unhappy ways that they react to their children.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: behavior problems, child development, child discipline, child growth, child's behavior, children quotes, good parenting, inspirational quotes, motivational videos, parent child relationship, parent children, parenting advice, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Choose Your Child’s Friends

By Bob Lancer
Friday, August 5th, 2011

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Observing how your child’s friends behave is an important part of responsible parenting, because children become like those they spend time with.

Notice how your child behaves after spending time with kids
who behave wildly. Your child will behave more wildly.

You can observe your child making facial grimaces that cause her to look like her most recent playmates

It is a “law of child development” that the child’s personality reflects the outstanding personality traits of:

The children that she spends the most time with and
Those that she has most recently spent time with.

The child who demonstrates a disrespectful attitude is leading your child into a disrespectful attitude.

You can observe your child making facial grimaces that cause her to look like her most recent playmates.

What makes it hard for you to prohibit your child
from associating with troublesome children?

Share your thoughts, comments and questions about this topic in this blog.

Parenting your children becomes easier when you limit how much time your child spends with children who display behavior problems that you do not want replicated in your own child.

The younger your child, the more deep and lasting the influence
of other children’s behavior upon him.

But whatever your child’s age, by being selective regarding whom you permit your child to associate with you can protect your child from adopting problem behaviors displayed by other children.

Here’s a parenting children tip for diminishing the
amount of time your child spends with children
whose influence you don’t care for:

When you observe your child behaving poorly after some time with a playmate, warn, “If you continue behaving this way I will not permit you to play with that child tomorrow.” Follow that up with the simple explanation: “I’m doing this because it seems that child’s influence causes you to behave poorly.”

This will either cause your child to demonstrate adequate self-control, or, if you have to follow through, it will protect your child from negative child development.

It’s usually hardest to establish playmate boundaries
when it involves a relative.

It’s not easy to disallow time spent with a cousin who acts out in disturbing ways. But when it comes to parenting, our own children are our highest priority.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: behavior problems, child development, child discipline, child growth, child's behavior, children quotes, good parenting, inspirational poems, inspirational quotes, inspirational videos, motivational videos, parent child relationship, parent children, parenting advice, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Achieve Behavior Management

By Bob Lancer
Tuesday, July 26th, 2011

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Successful and stress free child behavior management is a great goal.

As parents we want to inspire our children to pursue worthwhile goals.

As parents we want to inspire our children
to pursue worthwhile goals.

And there is no better way than to model our dedication to achieving great things ourselves.

There exists no greater goal in life for a parent to than the goal of great, stress-free parenting.

Children benefit in two major ways when you remain truly dedicated to this goal:
1. Your child will demonstrate more responsible and rewarding behavior.
2. Your modeling will instill in your child the drive and self-confidence to pursue meaningful goals.

What child behavior management challenges do you face?

Share your parenting problems in this blog to receive
YOUR parenting solutions.

Producing great child behavior with love, and without draining anger or stress, is a process of goal setting and achievement.

Begin by setting your goals.

Think about ways your child now behaves that bother you, and consider how you would like your child to behave instead.

Here are a few examples of behavior management problems turned into goals.
• My child makes things up. I want him to be more honest.
• She brags to cover her insecurity. I want her to feel secure enough to not brag.
• My toddler throws objects when he does not receive immediate attention. I want him to be more patient and not throw destructively.

What child behaviors drive YOU crazy?

Feel welcome to share them in a blog entry for your sane solutions.

Once you have your goals for your child in mind, the next step is crucial.
INCLUDE GOALS FOR YOUR PARENTING.

Children should not be your only focus. You want to improve your child behavior management with love, without unhappiness, anger or stress. You want to fully enjoy SUCCESSFUL parenting.

Keep this 2-sided goal in mind:

How you want your child to behave
How you want to feel in the process

Then work everyday on making whatever small or large improvements you can make in BOTH areas.

Little by little you will achieve improved child behavior management, and love the process more and more.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: behavior problems, child development, child discipline, child growth, child's behavior, children quotes, good parenting, inspirational videos, motivational quotes, motivational videos, parent child relationship, parenting advice, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Imaginatively Raising Children

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, June 29th, 2011

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Raising children successfully begins with a vision of the successful child.

Raising our children as successfully as possible requires raising ourselves.

Because our results in any area of life, including parenting, are a reflection of our levels of ability and influence, we do a better job of raising children as we remain committed to fulfilling our own higher potential.

One of the ways that we can raise ourselves to a higher level of functioning, for the good of our children, is to raise the level of our mastery over the creative power of our imagination.

Imagination functions as a self-fulfilling prophesy.

For instance, the more you imagine your child as a brat, the more you will bring out his “bratty potential”.

Raising children to fulfill their higher potential demands that we reject any negative visions of them that may occur to us.

Your child will tend to live up to the vision
that you hold in your mind.

Raising children to be as successful as possible requires that we recognize HOW we imagine them, WHEN we imagine them.

If we are not self-aware enough, we won’t even realize that when we resent our child, we are envisioning our child in a negative way.

So raising children to be successful obliges us to raise our level of awareness to the degree that we recognize what our imagination is up to.

The power of imagination is something we need to run, not something that ought to run us, and we need to teach this to our children.

A message that both parents and children need to hear is:
“Whatever runs your imagination runs your life!”

The more you intentionally direct your imagination to work for you (and for your child), the stronger your control over it grows.

To use your imagination, focus on a vision of what you want, including the healthy, happy and successful person you want your child to be.

Raising children successfully begins with a vision of the successful child.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: behavior problems, child development, child growth, good parenting, inspirational videos, motivational videos, parent child relationship, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Dream Your Way To Parental Control

By Bob Lancer
Thursday, June 16th, 2011

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To improve your parental control, improve your dream control.

Enjoy increasing parental control and less parent-child conflict

Envisioning yourself in-charge, with love, and without anger and stress, helps you to achieve more parental control.

To apply this empowering parent-wisdom, think about a situation in which you find your parental control challenged by your child’s behavior.

Perhaps it happens at bedtime when your child suddenly refuses to cooperate, and you find yourself repeating directions several times, until you finally lose your patience.

Now, imagine that scene happening, but this time, imagine yourself demonstrating your ideal form of parental control.

Envision yourself feeling perfectly calm, content,
confident and in control.

Envision the entire scene flowing smoothly,
with love, ease and fulfillment.

Often, when parents feel frustrated by their child’s behavior, they repeatedly remember the difficult scenarios, envisioning their stressful, frustrating experience of lacking parental control.

But improving your control in your relationship with children begins with improving your control of yourself, and that begins with taking control of your dreams – of the imaginary visions that you focus on in your mind.

When a parent worries about future lapses of parental control,
or painfully recalls past episodes of previous “child behavior
chaos”, the parent allows negative dreaming
to rule his or her mind.

Practice the following to dream your way to improved parental control:
1. Pay attention to your thinking to recognize when you are envisioning disturbing parent-child experiences.
2. When you notice this happening, shift the focus of your thinking into envisioning that scene as you would love it to be

Your experiences with your child will gradually reflect your positive visions
of delightful parent-child scenarios more and more.

To further improve your interactions with your child, ask your child to spend time dreaming or envisioning himself or herself behaving beautifully.

Children often want to behave better than they do, but because of tiredness, habits, or other influences, they find self-control just too difficult.

By teaching your child about the positive power of directed dreaming or envisioning, you empower your child to lead a more successful life.

Guiding your child into envisioning the positive behavior you want helps you to enjoy increasing parental control and less parent-child conflict.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: behavior problems, child development, child growth, child's behavior, children quotes, inspirational poems, inspirational quotes, inspirational videos, motivational videos, parent child relationship, parent children, parenting advice, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Parenting Children Without Overwhelm

By Bob Lancer
Tuesday, May 17th, 2011

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Parenting children without overwhelm IS possible. Understanding the cause and cost of parenting children with overwhelm begins to set you free.

Parenting children without overwhelm IS possible

You are NOT overwhelmed by the typical daily demands of raising children.

Overwhelm is a state that you place yourself in by straining yourself to meet life’s demands.

Overwhelm Is Not Only Painful.
It Is Counter-Productive.

You enter overwhelm in parenting children by overtaxing yourself. An unbalanced mode of parenting is the real cause of parent fatigue, burn-out, and impatience.

When you feel overwhelmed you react from frustration, instead of responding from inspiration. This blocks your ability to recognize what your child really needs from you to behave well, to feel good, and to develop into his/her great potential.

Parenting Children Responsibly Does Not Demand Overwhelm.

It Demands That We Maintain Our Balance And Avoid
Slipping Into Modes Of Stress And Strain.

If you regard your child as the cause of your stress and strain, or blame your overwhelm on all the rest of your responsibilities, you blind yourself to your freedom, power and responsibility to improve the way that function.

The Measure Of Difficulty Of Parenting Children
Depends Upon How You Approach It.

Your feelings are signs that point you in the direction of healthy, balanced living.

If you hold onto the belief that being responsible means driving yourself so hard that you feel unhappy, frustrated, burned out, your belief, not your children or your responsibilities, prevents you from parenting children less stressfully.

To access your own best judgment, creativity and problem-solving ability, you need to feel basically calm, relaxed, well-rested, and inspired.

To free yourself of parenting children in a state of overwhelm:

Pay more attention to how you feel throughout the day
The instant you feel stress and strain setting in, stop trying to control the situation or your children. Ease up on yourself.
Practice maintaining your unstrained composure as you fulfill your daily responsibilities.

As you apply these three simple steps consistently and persistently, you will enjoy parenting children with less and less overwhelm, and more and more love, joy, AND success.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: behavior problems, child development, child discipline, child growth, child's behavior, children quotes, discipline alternative, good parenting, parent child relationship, parent children, parenting advice, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Achieve Parental Control

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

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Parenting tip for achieving parental control

A power-struggle begins when your child displays the power to defy your direction.

To achieve parental control, one thing you need to know is how to end a power-struggle between you and your child.

A power-struggle begins when your child displays
the power to defy your direction.

The longer you engage in a power-struggle, the more energy you waste and the more your child learns how to lock you into a futile power-struggle.

As long as you continue using the same approach to win the struggle, you are actually perpetuating the struggle and experiencing a lack of parental control.

You will begin experiencing more parental control when you shift your focus from trying to control your child to controlling yourself.

Your child’s resistance seems to be causing the power-struggle, but it is also true that your behavior started the power-struggle and perpetuates it.

By focusing on what YOU are doing, you empower yourself
to change what you do for different results.

Move toward increasing parental control by first relaxing YOUR resistance. Resistance starts with a feeling of inner tension, pressure, forcing and conflict.

As you relax, you stop wasting energy on contending for power. This conserves your energy and brings you a welcome sense of relief.

As you relax, you help your child to relax. As you let go of your effort to oppose your child, your child will be more inclined to leg go of his/her effort to oppose you. The power-struggle is then transformed into peace.

From peace, you can move to the next level of parental control.

Consider what you want done and exercise your power to actually make it happen, without conflict. This might mean:

taking the inappropriate object from your child’s hand rather than asking for it over and over.
shutting off the TV instead of repeatedly demanding your child to do it
simply letting your older child know that if he does not do his homework he will not be receiving his allowance.

You cannot always get a child to do as you want without a struggle, but you can
avoid wasting your power on a struggle and enjoy greater parental control.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: behavior problems, child development, child discipline, child growth, child's behavior, children quotes, discipline alternative, good parenting, inspirational videos, parent children, parenting children, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Parent Help For Child Meltdowns (1)

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

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Child development is hampered by instability at home

The child feels frustrated by some form of instability at home, like parents not getting along

Understanding the many factors that may contribute to a child’s routine emotional

meltdowns may provide a concerned parent with the help needed for solving the problem:

A parent is slipping into deep states of depression or discouragement and coping poorly with that by engaging in destructive action or speech

The child feels frustrated by some form of instability at home, like parents not getting along, or parents discussing (or going through) separation or divorce.

The child routinely feels tired because she is staying up too late or not getting enough sleep (or the child is suffering from some other form of physical distress)

Children “melt down” (as adults often do) when they feel that they are not receiving the parent help they need when they use more calm forms of expression. This can be the result of:
- The parents paying insufficient attention to the child BEFORE she blows up or acts out
- The parents responding defensively to the child’s attempts to communicate a need.
- The parents over-relying on the child’s ability to verbally articulate her wants and needs – At least 75% of communication is NON-verbal, and to receive that message you have to observe facial expressions, physical behavior, gestures, voice tones, etc.
- The parents interrupt and talk over the child when she is trying to express herself verbally.

The parents routinely express an attitude of “I am right and you are wrong” rather than expressing, “I hear and understand you and will do my best to give you the parent help you need for happiness AND responsibility”.

Someone in the household is modeling emotional explosiveness and blaming it on someone else. (Usually the parent explodes in response to the child and blames the child for the anger, resentment, impatience, frustration and outburst.)

Part 2 of Parent Help For Child Emotional Meltdowns will be posted in the next parenting blog entry.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: behavior problems, child development, child discipline, child growth, child's behavior, children quotes, discipline alternative, good parenting, inspirational quotes, inspirational videos, parenting children, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

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Posts Tagged ‘parenting children’

Protect Your Child’s Imagination

Your Magical Child

How To Raise Our World

Choose Your Child’s Friends

Achieve Behavior Management

Imaginatively Raising Children

Dream Your Way To Parental Control

Parenting Children Without Overwhelm

Achieve Parental Control

Parent Help For Child Meltdowns (1)


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