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“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough” ~ Oprah Winfrey
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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Once you are in the thick of raising children, you realize that it may be one of the most taxing tests life delivers, and it delivers it everyday.
We plan to have a family based on the dream of family harmony.
But supporting a family emotionally and financially is not that easy. The bigger the family the more directions you are pulled in at one time.
If you parent more than one child you know how hard it can be when both children demand your undivided attention at the same time, while the phone is ringing, dinner is cooking and your mate is trying tell you something important. At the same you might look around at your home and see mess after mess. And while all this is happening, you feel so deeply in need of a nap!
Single parents have the added challenge of having no other parent around to help out.
Once you are in the thick of raising children, you realize that it may be one of the most taxing tests life delivers, and it delivers it everyday.
We plan to have a family based on the dream of family harmony.
A common mistake we parents make is to drive ourselves too hard.
There is a far more sane and simple solution to meeting your family demands.
The moment you feel your pressure starting to mount, instead of surging forward in attempt to get it all done, let go and lighten up! This is both a self-help and a family help solution.
While one child tugs at your sleeve and the other spills juice on your foot, take an INTERNAL time out.
Remain still, relax your body, and calm your nerves by breathing gently, fully, calmly.
Stand in a juice puddle (or even the pee puddle, for that matter) and just let it all BE. Let YOURSELF just BE.
You need to live in peace and poise to appreciate all the good in your life, and to avoid feeling over-burdened, depressed and chronically annoyed.
It is our attachment to control over externals, not the demands of others or of our environment, that really drives us into an emotional frenzy.
Having a family IS a gift, but you have to be at peace to enjoy it.
And with this joy comes your power to be a better parent, partner, worker and human being.
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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Receive your FREE advice for success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
To apply wisdom for success, ALLOW yourself to fully experience however you happen to be feeling
There is an important emotional dimension to wisdom for success: however you feel is okay.
Don’t resist your feelings of unhappiness, resentment, frustration, shame, regret or insecurity.
Emotional Wisdom For Success:
When you accept, embrace, and fully TRUST how you feel, how you feel turns joy.
We students of positive thinking and motivational self-help need to remember this.
Much of the self-help success tips that we study focus on the importance of positive thinking and positive feelings, and rightly so.
But we need to remember to NOT by fear anxiety, resist discouragement, judge ourselves as “wrong” when we feel angry, over-burdened or even defeated.
To apply wisdom for success, ALLOW yourself to fully experience however you happen to be feeling.
Invite your feelings in, EMBRACE them. They will turn into beautiful harmony.
One vital thing to know for success in life, though, is what to do with your THINKING when you feel down.
It can certainly help to focus on inspirational quotes and motivational sayings.
But what is most important for success in life is to NOT indulge in thinking that makes you feel down or makes you feel worse.
If you cannot engage in positive thinking, at least keep your mind free of NEGATIVE thinking.
Try this wisdom for success exercise:
Practice this for at least 1 minute each day.
The more you practice this, the more you develop trust in how you feel.
In this blog, please share your experience of this self-help exercise, including your thoughts about it, and any questions you might have.
So when you feel down, apply the wisdom for success of THOUGHTLESSLY experiencing your feelings.
For instance, if you happen to feel lonely over the holidays, or too physically impaired to celebrate with gusto, just feel how you feel.
If your mind begins showing you a sad or frightening mental movie about your life, take your attention off your thoughts and focus it instead directly onto your present state of feeling.
Don’t judge yourself for NOT being able to apply positive thinking. Trust how you feel as you apply this wisdom for success, you will soon find yourself feeling better and better and better.
Receive your FREE advice for success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Receive your FREE advice for your success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Make a list of the qualities you would love to have in your relationships, like love, respect, sensitivity, fun, adventure, loyalty
Here is some wisdom for better relationships that I have learned from experience: accept the risk of being selective about your relationships.
It takes a fair degree of trust, though, to follow this advice.
For a relationship that works for you, you need to let go of relationships that work against you, but insecurity causes people to stay in destructive relationships.
I myself feel into pattern years ago, feeling so insecure about being on my own that I clung to people who did not treat me very well.
When I finally felt fed up with my own lack of courage, I decided to take the risk and step out on my own.
That is how I discovered this wisdom for better relationships. I almost immediately found myself with opportunities for wonderful, mutually supportive relationships.
Receiving and even agreeing with wise advice for a relationship that works is easier than mustering up the courage to follow that advice.
But you can take it from me that facing your insecurity and going THROUGH it, instead of letting it stop you, will lead YOU into better relationships.
One way to bring better relationships into your life is to contemplate the kinds of relationships that you believe would feel wonderful and support your life-success.
Put this principle into practice with this exercise:
In this blog, please share your experience of applying this exercise for better relationships, including the results, and any questions about it that you might have.
Receive your FREE advice for your success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
As parents, we need to live in positive motivation to pass on that wonderful spirit to our children
Here is a wonderful secret for how to motivate your child to display beautiful, responsible self-conduct and a great attitude WITHOUT you having to strain for child discipline.
Develop your SELF-motivation.
Self-motivation is a product of a happy way of life.
I’ve discovered with my kids that they definitely reflect the mood that I’m in.
When I become stressed, when I start to rush, when I overtax myself with multi-taxing, my positive motivation declines and my kids seem to need more child discipline from me.
But instead of pushing myself even harder to control their behavior with stern intensity, I relax, ease up on myself, and remember to ENJOY my kids instead of working too hard to control my kids.
As I do this, they need less child discipline from me.
When you feel motivated, enthused, in love with your life, you automatically motivate your child to behave beautifully, reducing your need to apply stern child discipline.
Since long before I had children I have been training myself to live in a mode that permits me to experience joy, peace, and love.
I learned that by slowing down, relaxing, paying more attention to the present moment, and remaining committed to enjoying my life, not just living my life, I feel more motivated.
I learned to listen to signals of my body. For instance, while writing this blog I began feeling too hungry to concentrate without strain, so I paused for lunch.
While lunching, I looked out my window and noticed the sun shining, and that enticed me. So I ate my lunch in the warm sunlight.
Honoring my feelings helps me stay motivated and, by extension, to motivate my child.
When I became a parent, I brought this wisdom into parenting. I work on dealing with every parenting challenge with fulfillment, peace and inspiration.
Happy parenting is not necessarily irresponsible parenting. If you commit to it, YOU can learn how to bring more joy into your handling of your child leaving a mess behind, fibbing, breaking an expensive dish.
It comes down to the quality of life you want.
Here is an exercise to live in joy,
so you can motivate your child automatically:
Take one day to concentrate on doing whatever you do
with more joy, fulfillment and satisfaction.
Take this into your parenting. Whatever you do for or with your child, concentrate on making it an enjoyable experience for yourself.
This blog is your chance to contribute to the world’s parenting wisdom.
Please share with us, your “parent wisdom community”,
your experiences of doing this exercise.
Also share any questions you have about how to live in joy,
motivate your child and child discipline.
You CAN bring more joy, love and fulfillment into whatever must be done, if you make that a priority for yourself.
As parents, we need to live in positive motivation to pass on that wonderful spirit to our children.
To motivate your child, motivate yourself.
Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.
Receive your FREE Advice for your success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Enter the wisdom path to abundance by letting go of MENTAL conditions of lack and limitation.
Inspirational Quotes on the Wisdom of Abundance:
• There exists a wisdom-path to abundance – it winds through your mind.
• Abundance is a state of consciousness.
• As you free yourself from imaginary conditions of want, you free yourself to enter the life conditions THAT you want.
To help yourself see how abundance is a state of mind, answer the following questions:
1. When you think about your current level of abundance, what do you see?
2. When you think about your opportunities to achieve abundance, WHAT DO YOU SEE?
Whatever you SEE, in response to the above two questions, is a MENTAL CONDITION.
Personal Success Wisdom:As you direct our MENTAL conditions, you direct your LIFE conditions.
Inspirational Quotes on the Wisdom of Abundance:
• You cannot feel discouraged or worried without thinking of possibilities that you do not want to happen.
• Enter the wisdom path to abundance by letting go of MENTAL conditions of lack and limitation.
How do YOU define a life of total abundance?
What do you imagine standing in the way of your
abundance and personal success?
In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about
how to be as abundant as you want to be.
Here are 4 steps for advancing along wisdom’s path to abundance:
1. Practice paying more alert attention to what you are thinking, when you are thinking.
2. When you notice yourself thinking of conditions of lack or limitation, immediately let that thought go – don’t count on worry or discouragement to bring you personal success.
3. Imagine and trust that you are already on the path leading you into all the abundance you desire.
4. Remain alertly aware in the here-now to notice opportunities as they arrive.
Feel welcome to share some of YOUR favorite inspirational quotes on the path to abundance in this blog.
Receive your FREE Advice for your success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Punishing a child does not produce higher child development.
Parents resort to punishment to “teach the child a lesson”, but punishing children really does not teach children anything, except to fear getting caught. It also teaches them to be punishing.
Punishment is educational only in the sense that it models punishing behavior. It really does NOT solve behavior problems. It actually worsens them.
Punishment is educational only in the sense that it models punishing behavior. It really does NOT solve behavior problems. It actually worsens them.
Improving a child’s behavior is about child development.
Your aim is to DEVELOP a new behavior pattern.
To develop a new behavior pattern requires modeling that behavior pattern and then guiding the child in a step-by-step manner to demonstrate and practice it.
What are your thoughts about punishing children?
Have you actually found that punishing your child has ended one of his or her behavior problems?
In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about
punishing and alternative ways of improving child behavior.
Punishing does not teach a child to feel remorse over the behavior
that you are punishing him or her for.
The child regrets only the punisher’s behavior, because that is all that hurts.
To improve your child’s behavior, think about the behavior that you want and turn that into a goal.
Then model the behavior you want, and lead the child, step-by-step in the process of engaging in that behavior.
For instance, if your child speaks disrespectfully, and you want to change that, listen more closely to the tone of your voice and the attitude you express when speaking.
Model more conscious, respectful speech.
Then, when your child speaks disrespectfully, guide her step-by-step in expressing what she wants to say in a more respectful way.
There are many more things you can do for the child development process leading to improved behavior.
Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
By examining each relationship experience you can emerge with your own love-advice for a more love-filled life.
The most essential form of love advice for relationships is this:
It’s common to blame our mate for how frustrated we feel in our relationship, but frustration is OUR REACTION TO WHAT HAPPENS.
Your mate is not responsible for how you react.
No one but you is responsible for how you react.
Advice For Relationship Success:
Advice Regarding Seeking a New Relationship:
What takes place in your personal relationships that causes you to feel so much unhappiness that you want to flee, to escape, to run away from the relationship?
In what ways do you react in your present relationship
that cause you the most pain?
In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about
how personal growth is really your relationship-success solution.
Advice For Relationship Success:
Any discord or difficulty you face in a relationship presents you with a lesson that reveals how you can change or grow for more relationship satisfaction.
By examining each relationship experience you can emerge with your own love-advice for a more love-filled life.
Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Parenting your child to believe in herself unconditionally is the goal
One of the challenges you have no doubt faced, or will at some point face, in parenting your child, is teaching your child how to win AND how to lose.
One way that we prepare our children for winning WELL is by avoiding excessively praising our child’s admirable attributes or performance.
In parenting your child, if you praise too much, you disconnect the child from the positive character trait of wanting to do a good job for the pure satisfaction of doing so.
Being personally “recognized” as #1 then becomes all-important to the child, and the actual quality of work produced by the child becomes unimportant to the child.
Such children are prone to severe emotional breakdowns when they don’t come in first. Some go so far as to pursue underhanded means of being perceived as a winner, including cheating on tests and stealing trophies.
How they SEEM has come to matter more to them than who they actually ARE. This characterizes a child who has lost himself.
How can YOU tell when praising your child is actually good for him or her?
Are YOU too dependent upon receiving approval from others? Is your child? If so, what childhood experiences do you believe set you
and/or your child up for that weakness?
Share your thoughts and questions about this
important topic in this blog.
Here are two quotes for children that we parents can also benefit from remembering, about what is most important about winning and losing:
“Real happiness comes from doing my best, even if no one sees the good that I have done.”
“Losing is really no big deal, because real happiness comes from just doing my best.”
Parenting your child to believe in herself unconditionally is the goal.
Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
Understanding how to work with your child’s power of imagination is important for supporting child development
Understanding how to work with your child’s power of imagination is important for supporting child development.
When children begin “making things up” it’s easy for a parent to become anxious about the need for the child to “tell the truth”.
Out of fear, the parent may over-react to the child’s made up tales and squelch the positive use and development of the child’s imagination-power.
Children seem to have an instinctive knowledge of how to use fantasy for their own good.
For instance, to protect herself from being emotionally devastated, the 5 year old son of a deceased father told his friend that his father was actually alive, but on a secret mission for the Army.
A child who was the smallest in his class told his parents one day, “Today I was bigger than Amos (the tallest in the class).
In these cases we see a wise application of the imaginative stage of child development. The child is using his new power to help himself to feel good about his life and about himself, and the child needs to feel good to behave well and perform successfully.
Do you regard the examples of making things up as behavior problems?
How does YOUR child use the power of fantasy?
Share your thoughts, experiences and questions about children’s use of imagination this blog.
Children need a strong imagination to help them to cushion the blows of harsh realities, for problem-solving, and to create magnificent goals for themselves. The child who makes things up may be revealing a gift for story-telling that is just beginning to blossom.
So we need to teach children when and how to tell the truth, but avoid giving them the harmful message that making things up is always wrong. A powerful imagination is part of healthy child development.
Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
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