Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Whether we are conscious of it or not, that relationship problem is produced by imagining ourselves lacking in some way.

When we feel insecure in a relationship, the cause is always imaginary.

Whether we are conscious of it or not, that relationship problem is produced by imagining ourselves lacking in some way.

This causes our lack of natural, comfortable self-confidence in the relationship.

A common expression of insecurity is to become a “people pleaser” by trying to figure out what the other person wants us to be.

But this relationship strategy fails to bring us happiness, because we still feel rejected by ourselves.

While pretending to be what we are not we are pushing the other person away out of fear of being “found out”, which will ultimately sabotage the relationship.

Here is a more effective relationship strategy for overcoming the insecurity that sabotages interpersonal-bonding: improve how you see yourself rather than worrying about or trying to manipulate how others see you.

The following confidence-building exercise can help you to build better relationships:

1. Write out a list of all the personal qualities that you see in yourself that you dislike, disrespect, or disapprove of.

2. Then, compose a list in which you replace those qualities with abilities, characteristics or talents that you would like instead.

3. Spend a few minutes envisioning yourself possessing and expressing each of those more desirable qualities.

Performing this exercise once or twice may not relieve you of the self-esteem problem that has been preventing you from enjoying better relationships.

A lack of self-confidence in relationships usually stems from deeply rooted self-concept habits.

But as you persevere in letting go of negative thoughts about yourself, and in building up a vision of yourself expressing more beautiful, powerful, splendid qualities, you will feel more self-assured in relationships.

In this blog, please share your thoughts and questions about this relationship advice, and your experience of doing this confidence-building exercise.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.