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Love leaves relationships when we leave love. Love leaves relationships when we overlook how we leave love.
We leave love by holding onto ideas of our partner and of our relationship
that close our heart with a wall of fear.
Clinging to ideas about what others have done or may do that disturbs you locks you into threatening visions that remove your love from relationships.
Your mind then relates with the vision as the reality and begins relating with the other as an enemy, in a state of unhappy conflict.
This, in turn, causes the other to feel insecure and become defensive. Then both parties leave love and hide their hearts behind protective barriers of fear.
Insecurity steals our love from relationships and it often hides behind critical reactions of annoyance, impatience, frustration and rage.
In a long term relationship, critically, fearfully thinking about our partner
can become a deeply and strongly rooted habit.
When you take responsibility for your critical, insecure thought and feeling patterns you can begin to let them go. Gradually, you can withdraw your energy from the habitual fear-patterns that would otherwise withdraw your love from relationships.
As you do this you will discover that love is a safe “place” to be.
But the insecurity that steals our love from relationships is not always obvious. It hides behind critical reactions of annoyance, impatience, frustration and rage.
The more anger one lives in, the more insecure one feels.
Fear is why we can only change our angry, critical patterns gradually. We are afraid to let go, afraid to open our hearts. The key to returning love to our relationships is to take tiny “baby” steps toward liberation.
Each time that you engage, or re-engage, in a critical, angry emotional reaction you feed your fear-to-love-habit and it grows stronger.
Every moment that you release yourself from the habit by letting go of the critical thought and feeling that expresses it, the habit weakens and sets your love free.
Though this practice, you will soon find yourself more quickly recognizing when you are leaving love in your relationships, and more quickly and easily let that love-blockage go.
Gradually free yourself from your heart-departures by GENTLY withdrawing small degrees of energy from that reaction. You can do this by:
- Speaking a little softer,
- Releasing some of your tension
- Taking a breath to calm yourself just a bit
- Letting go of the critical thought that triggers your rejection of love.
Each time you do this, the grip of insecurity weakens, releasing more energy for love to return and grow in your relationships.
Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
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