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The Wisdom of Charitable Parenting

By Bob Lancer
Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

parenting tools for charitable parenting

Children need a certain measure of parental charitableness for the nurturing of their hearts and to inspire them to demonstrate their beautiful potential.

In conversations about parenting children, rarely do parents discuss the role of charity in parenting.

 

You might hear about a child’s accomplishments, about the trouble a child is getting into, about the need for discipline, but how often do you hear the word “charity” as it applies to parenting?

And yet, of all the parenting tips you might receive, there is none more important or valuable than why, how, and when to demonstrate CHARITABLE PARENTING.

Children need a certain measure of parental charitableness for the nurturing of their hearts and to inspire them to demonstrate their beautiful potential.

In the Wisie for kids wisdom video, ‘The Meaning of Charity’, children are taught how to be charitable, and why.  Here are two inspirational quotes from it:

  • “(Charity)… is seeing someone make a mistake and saying, ‘That’s okay’.

  • “Charity makes our world a kinder, happier place.”

Consider how this can translate into parenting tips:

  • Charitable parenting is seeing your child make a mistake and saying, “That’s okay.”

  • Charity makes OUR HOME a kinder, happier place.

A charitable approach to parenting also brings out the kind, generous attitude of charity in children through modeling.

Children do need us to establish boundaries and to express our displeasure… AT TIMES.

But they also need us to be tolerant, forgiving, and patient… to practice the spirit of charity in our parenting.

Children need to be treated with enough kindness to display enough kindness.  In what ways can you demonstrate more kindness or charity with your kids?

In what instances do honestly feel that you demonstrate too much harshness and not enough charity with your child?

In this blog, share any parenting tips, or questions, that you might have
regarding nurturing the child’s sacred heart.

All of us engaged in demanding work of parenting might benefit from viewing the Wisie video: “The Meaning of Charity”.

In any event, being more mindful of the role of kindness in parenting children can help to raise happier, kinder kids.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

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Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Wisdom For A More Peaceful Marriage

By Bob Lancer
Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Marriage advice for couples who fight

The key is to work on putting it into practice to the best of your ability EVERY TIME YOU FEEL THE URGE TO FIGHT WITH YOUR MATE

There probably is not a couple on the planet that could not use marriage advice that pertains to improving communication.

One of the most common communication problems faced by couples is when one of the partners habitually engage in verbal fighting.

One you hear something that you don’t like, do you instantly, automatically, and thoughtlessly launch into an intense emotional reaction in the form of verbal contentiousness?  Does that characterize your partner’s communication pattern?

Fortunately, there is some great relationship help available to couples struggling with this challenge.

Marriage advice for couples who fight:

An argument takes two people.  The next time that you feel the urge to fight, simply don’t.  Instead, concentrate on feeling inner peace.

This simple piece of wisdom for a harmonious marriage may seem TOO simple to use.

To those who have already tried to apply this form of relationship help, it may seem too DIFFICULT to use.

The key is to work on putting it into practice to the best of your ability EVERY TIME YOU FEEL THE URGE TO FIGHT WITH YOUR MATE.

Your relentless commitment to practice this relationship wisdom to the best of your ability will gradually build up your power of self-control.

What does YOUR mate say or do that triggers YOUR urge to argue or fight?

What do YOU say or do that triggers off your mate’s argue-pattern?

In this blog, share what you have tried to resolve marital issues without fighting as well as any questions about this topic that you have.

There is no sane person who enjoys a marital squabble.  But the unpleasantness of your experience has nothing really to do with your partner.

As you follow the marriage advice of working on improving your reaction when you feel like bickering, you will gradually find yourself feeling more free.

Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

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Posted in Wisie for Relationship |

The Wisdom Path To Abundance

By Bob Lancer
Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

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wisdom for success

Enter the wisdom path to abundance by letting go of MENTAL conditions of lack and limitation.

Inspirational Quotes on the Wisdom of Abundance:

• There exists a wisdom-path to abundance – it winds through your mind.

• Abundance is a state of consciousness.

• As you free yourself from imaginary conditions of want, you free yourself to enter the life conditions THAT you want.

To help yourself see how abundance is a state of mind, answer the following questions:

1. When you think about your current level of abundance, what do you see?

2. When you think about your opportunities to achieve abundance, WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Whatever you SEE, in response to the above two questions, is a MENTAL CONDITION.

Personal Success Wisdom:As you direct our MENTAL conditions, you direct your LIFE conditions.

Inspirational Quotes on the Wisdom of Abundance:

• You cannot feel discouraged or worried without thinking of possibilities that you do not want to happen.

• Enter the wisdom path to abundance by letting go of MENTAL conditions of lack and limitation.

How do YOU define a life of total abundance?

What do you imagine standing in the way of your
abundance and personal success?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about
how to be as abundant as you want to be.

Here are 4 steps for advancing along wisdom’s path to abundance:

1. Practice paying more alert attention to what you are thinking, when you are thinking.

2. When you notice yourself thinking of conditions of lack or limitation, immediately let that thought go – don’t count on worry or discouragement to bring you personal success.

3. Imagine and trust that you are already on the path leading you into all the abundance you desire.

4. Remain alertly aware in the here-now to notice opportunities as they arrive.

Feel welcome to share some of YOUR favorite inspirational quotes on the path to abundance in this blog.

Receive your FREE Advice for your success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Posted in Wisie for Success |

Child Development VS Punishment

By Bob Lancer
Thursday, October 20th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Punishing a child does not produce higher child development.

Parents resort to punishment to “teach the child a lesson”, but punishing children really does not teach children anything, except to fear getting caught. It also teaches them to be punishing.

Punishment is educational only in the sense that it models punishing behavior. It really does NOT solve behavior problems. It actually worsens them.

child development with discipline

Punishment is educational only in the sense that it models punishing behavior. It really does NOT solve behavior problems. It actually worsens them.

You do not teach your child HOW to improve his behavior by punishing.
You make him feel badly about the way that YOU behave in reaction to his behavior.

Improving a child’s behavior is about child development.

Your aim is to DEVELOP a new behavior pattern.

To develop a new behavior pattern requires modeling that behavior pattern and then guiding the child in a step-by-step manner to demonstrate and practice it.

What are your thoughts about punishing children?

Have you actually found that punishing your child has ended one of his or her behavior problems?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about
punishing and alternative ways of improving child behavior.

Punishing does not teach a child to feel remorse over the behavior
that you are punishing him or her for.

The child regrets only the punisher’s behavior, because that is all that hurts.

To improve your child’s behavior, think about the behavior that you want and turn that into a goal.

Then model the behavior you want, and lead the child, step-by-step in the process of engaging in that behavior.

For instance, if your child speaks disrespectfully, and you want to change that, listen more closely to the tone of your voice and the attitude you express when speaking.

Model more conscious, respectful speech.

Then, when your child speaks disrespectfully, guide her step-by-step in expressing what she wants to say in a more respectful way.

There are many more things you can do for the child development process leading to improved behavior.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Succeed With Joy

By Bob Lancer
Saturday, October 15th, 2011

Receive your FREE Advice for your success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

key to success

One self-help key for achieving your greatest goals may for you to pay more attention to how you are feeling in the present moment

There is no greater power than happiness for achieving success, as the following inspirational quotes suggest:

  • When I am feeling happy I am at my best. When I become too serious my creativity shuts down and I find myself clashing more in my relationships.

  • I have learned that I simply have to be enjoying myself at work to as productive as I can be.

  • When I’m feeling really good inside I notice that things just seem to work out and fall into place.  But when I’m feeling down, everything turns into a struggle.

Of course these inspirational quotes are not intended to downplay the need for self-discipline, mental focus, and a sense of responsibility, but happiness seems all to often to be underrated.

One self-help key for achieving your greatest goals may for you to pay more attention to how you are feeling in the present moment.

By permitting yourself to enjoy the journey instead of waiting until you achieve your goal to finally relax enough to be happy, you will be more successful.

What are YOU waiting for to be happy?

What goals do you believe you need to achieve, what problems do you first need to solve, to permit yourself to enjoy your life and work?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about
the self-help power of happiness as it relates to success.

It may be that the old saying “it sounds too good to be true” is preventing you from tapping into the great success-power that is joy.

But there is really only one way to find out if you can succeed joyfully, and that is to risk an experiment. Each day deliberately practice living and working a little more calmly, confidently and joyfully, to see if the inspirational quotes that opened this blog can also apply to you.

Receive your FREE Advice for your success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Posted in Wisie for Success |

Learn From Relationship Challenges

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Successful relationship and love advice

By examining each relationship experience you can emerge with your own love-advice for a more love-filled life.

The most essential form of love advice for relationships is this:

  • Your relationship challenges call upon you to make changes in yourself.
  • When you feel dissatisfied SEE HOW YOU MAKE YOURSELF FEEL THAT WAY.

It’s common to blame our mate for how frustrated we feel in our relationship, but frustration is OUR REACTION TO WHAT HAPPENS.

Your mate is not responsible for how you react.

No one but you is responsible for how you react.

Advice For Relationship Success:

  • When you react in a way that makes you feel angry, insecure or disappointed, see that reaction as something that you need to outgrow, to change, for more fulfillment in love.

Advice Regarding Seeking a New Relationship:

  • Seeking a new relationship will not help you to experience more happiness as long as you remain in your unhappy reaction patterns.
  • Free yourself from your unhappy reaction before you seek freedom from an unhappy relationship.

What takes place in your personal relationships that causes you to feel so much unhappiness that you want to flee, to escape, to run away from the relationship?

In what ways do you react in your present relationship
that cause you the most pain?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about
how personal growth is really your relationship-success solution.

Advice For Relationship Success:

  • A common cause of relationship dissatisfaction is HOLDING ONTO OUR FEELINGS OF DISSATISFACTION.
  • When you feel dissatisfied, let go of those feelings and let yourself live peacefully in the now.

Any discord or difficulty you face in a relationship presents you with a lesson that reveals how you can change or grow for more relationship satisfaction.

By examining each relationship experience you can emerge with your own love-advice for a more love-filled life.

Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Posted in Wisie for Relationship |

Mental Child Discipline

By Bob Lancer
Saturday, October 8th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Solving child behavior problems

Whenever you think of your child, practice deliberately thinking of her behaving wonderfully

When you think about child behavior problems, you are viewing a scene in your mind.

Notice how you feel when you think of your child behaving poorly.

You no doubt feel stress, probably some anxiety, maybe feelings of powerlessness, perhaps even feelings of animosity.

While thinking of your child behaving poorly, it is really NOT your child who is causing you to feel those unpleasant reactions.  It is your thinking.

One interesting aspect about the mind is that we automatically begin looking for whatever we imagine to be true.

So when you envision your child demonstrating behavior problems, whether you are thinking of the past or anticipating the future, you make it more likely that you will SEE your child behaving poorly, and that you will NOT notice how your child behaves well.

Advice for parents:

Think about how you would love your child to behave, and stop thinking
about the ways that your child behaves that you don’t like,
and you will see how much better your child behaves.

Whenever you think of your child, practice deliberately thinking of him behaving wonderfully.

Refuse to dwell on thoughts of your child behaving poorly.

Think about your child displaying the positive behaviors you want in place of any disturbing behaviors.

As you practice this consistently, you will realize that improving child discipline begins with improving the parent’s MENTAL discipline.

How often do you think of your child behaving in disturbing ways?

What child behaviors would you like to see
in place of those disturbing behaviors?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about the role of thinking as it relates to solving child behavior problems.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

The Parental Involvement Solution

By Bob Lancer
Friday, September 30th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

parenting children with involvement

The kind of involvement kids need from their parents is attentive and loving.

A sufficient measure of parental involvement is essential for a child’s development of a positive attitude and responsible behavior.

But not all forms of parent-child interaction produce desirable results.

Just being in the same room with a child while you pay only superficial attention to the child does not constitute constructive involvement.

Ignoring the child can cause the child to feel rejected, unimportant and sad.

This may cause the child to develop a passive, indifferent demeanor expressing a lack of motivation, self-respect and self-care.

Or it may incite the child’s rebellious, destructive behavior in retaliation.

Another form of parental involvement is reacting to the child’s behavior with a steady stream of impatience, annoyance and frustration.  This negativity emanating from the parent is absorbed by the child and forms or fosters the child’s negative reaction patterns.

Do you believe that you spend enough time with your child? If not, what seems to be preventing you from doing that.

What are some ways that you can make the time you spend with your child more valuable for both of you?

Share your thoughts and questions about this important aspect
of parenting your childin this blog.

The kind of involvement kids need from their parents is attentive and loving.  Child behavior problems are among the signs that a child needs more loving attentiveness.

If your child displays behavior problems, consider that the solution may NOT be firmer discipline tactics, but more attentive, loving parental involvement.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Long-Term Parenting

By Bob Lancer
Sunday, September 25th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Parenting tips for the long term

The parent functions as a sort of lighthouse for the child, guiding the child, hopefully, along a happy, healthy, successful life-path

The parenting tips presented here pertain to the fact that your child is deeply impressed by your way of living, not just by your way of parenting.

How you live your life operates as a life-long guide for your child’s life-path.

The parent functions as a sort of lighthouse for the child, guiding the child, hopefully, along a happy, healthy, successful life-path.

Your child may be observing you far more closely than even she realizes. Your modeling as a sort of compass for her daily life choices in the short AND the long-term.

Parenting tips for the long-term:
• Pursuing the fulfillment of your higher potential leads your children to become their best selves.
• Leading a fulfilling life leads your children to lead fulfilling lives.

Here is how modeling works for the short and long term. If Junior hears you speaking belligerently to his mother, for example, he will soon be heard speaking that way to his mother.

There is a good chance that he will speak that way to his female teacher.

There’s a good chance he will speak that way to his wife.

As parents we are responsible for the ways that we influence our child’s life path.

You may find help with parenting that relates to the long term by thinking of yourself casting a sort of beacon that your child will follow all life-long.

What are some of the positive and negative traits
you are modeling for your child?

What problems and what success do you feel that you were led (or misled) into by your parents’ modeling?

Share your thoughts and questions about this
important topic in this blog.

Take-Away parenting tips:
• Remember that the life you lead leads your child throughout life.
• Remember that your example is an extremely powerful influence on your child’s destiny.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

How To Raise A Real Winner

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, September 14th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Parenting your child

Parenting your child to believe in herself unconditionally is the goal

One of the challenges you have no doubt faced, or will at some point face, in parenting your child, is teaching your child how to win AND how to lose.

 

One way that we prepare our children for winning WELL is by avoiding excessively praising our child’s admirable attributes or performance.

In parenting your child, if you praise too much, you disconnect the child from the positive character trait of wanting to do a good job for the pure satisfaction of doing so.

Being personally “recognized” as #1 then becomes all-important to the child, and the actual quality of work produced by the child becomes unimportant to the child.

Such children are prone to severe emotional breakdowns when they don’t come in first. Some go so far as to pursue underhanded means of being perceived as a winner, including cheating on tests and stealing trophies.

How they SEEM has come to matter more to them than who they actually ARE. This characterizes a child who has lost himself.

How can YOU tell when praising your child is actually good for him or her?

Are YOU too dependent upon receiving approval from others? Is your child? If so, what childhood experiences do you believe set you
and/or your child up for that weakness?

Share your thoughts and questions about this
important topic in this blog.

Here are two quotes for children that we parents can also benefit from remembering, about what is most important about winning and losing:

“Real happiness comes from doing my best, even if no one sees the good that I have done.”

“Losing is really no big deal, because real happiness comes from just doing my best.”

Parenting your child to believe in herself unconditionally is the goal.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

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